Ipod challenge
by speakingwordsofwisdom
Summary: I know you're supposed to do this with ten songs...but cant be botherd. Also, i carried on writing after the song ended. Oh well. Please read anyway :


**Helllllllllo!! Thanks for all my reviews :) Send me some around the 27th if you can, cos i'm getting my GCSE results on that day and I might need cheering up (if I can stop crying long enough to read the computer screen. I'm so scared, I think i'm gonna faint on the actual day...) If my results are good, I'll write some fics. If they're bad...well, ill probably write some fics anyway. The only difference will be whether they're happy or sad. I really need A*'s if i'm gonna go to camebridge for uni, and I probably don't have them...and this is really spoiling my holiday, my mood AND this fanfic. So I'll stop.**

**I read a fanfic (cant remember who wrote it, or what it was called, only that it was a twilight story) and the game was to put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 fics based on the 1st 10 songs you get. I don't know if these are any good_ if you are the girl whose fic I read, do you mind me using your idea???**

**Rated:K**

**Disclaimer: I own Wicked. Not the depressing book one, but the awesome musical, cept in my musical, its Elphaba and Glinda who end up together cos they're a much awesomer couple than Elphaba and Fiyero. No offence if you like Fiyero/Elphaba pairings tho.**

* * *

**First Song:**** Who Knew? by Pink**

"_....What is this feeling?_

_Loathing. _

_Unadulterated loathing. _

_For your face, your hair, your clothing..._

_Things that for some reason seemed to grant you the love of everyone who laid eyes on you...or should I say, whoever you allowed to lay eyes on you?..._

_I hated you, almost as much as you hated me. What kind of sick joke made us share a room? _

_Fate has a cruel sense of humour..."_

_I'd never imagined that in three years, everything could change so completely. If they'd even hinted it, I might have had to punch them or something._

_I never would have guessed that I'd end up saying goodbye to you like this, that I'd be choking back tears because I knew I might never see you again. I'd always imagined that the the very real possibility of never seeing you again would make me happy. Instead it feels like a death sentence._

_I'll come back, Glinda, I promise I will._

_I keep telling myself that as the emerald city disappears behind me._

_When you kissed me goodbye, it wasn't goodbye forever. It can't have been._

_Oh Glinda, I wish you'd come. _

_I wish I'd stayed. _

_I wish I wasn't leaving you behind._

_*****_

**Second Song:**** Knock 'em out by Lily Allen**

"Glinda...tell me again why i'm here?"

"Because. Oh come Elphie, you can't avoid social situations forever! I still can't believe you've only been to one other party before in your life..."

Elphaba scowled. She didn't see why Glinda had to shriek details of her pathetic life to the whole world. Or, okay, one room of people. Still, people she had to live with.

"Just relax...let the sangria work..."

"Hey baby, you look alright still....yeah, what's your name?"

Glinda looked down at the munchkin Boq. God, he was so much for forward when he was drunk.

"Look, my answer's the same as it was five minutes ago... Go. Away."

Boq stumbled back into the crowd, and Elphaba tried to hide a smile.

"Glinda, you know he's just gonna come straight back don't you?"

"Well, how do you suggest I get rid of him?"

"Oh I don't know...tell him...Oh, tell him you're pregnant!"

"Elphie!" Glinda looked askance. "I'm **not **telling him i'm pregnant! What if he remembers??"

"He cant even walk straight, no way is he remembering anything..."

"Hey baby..." Boq was back. "Hey baby, come and talk to me instead...I'm bigger than I look...if you know what I mean..."

Elphaba yawned, and Boq scowled.

"C'mon, ditch the artichoke freak and...."

Boqs words were cut off abruptly.

Glinda pressed her hand to her mouth, whether to hide laughter or from shock it was impossible to tell, as she looked down at Boqs sprawled body on the floor.

"Omigod, Elphie! I know guys like him are annoying but you can't knock them out!"

"I really disagree."

*****

**Third Song:**** Hallelujah by Paramore**

Sometimes the impossible, the unbelievable, the unimaginable happens.

Elphie, I was so sure you were dead. We all were.

Oh, I know what I said, I know what I did.

And they all believed me, every last one of them, that I was just as happy as they were that you were gone.

How little they knew me, that they couldn't see how I was being torn to pieces inside every minute of every day that I lived without you...

Some people believe that sequences of events are on purpose, that its only later on that you can look back and see how everything that happened was necessary, that it was all building up to something bigger.

Only now can I understand...if only I'd known during all those weeks and months when it felt like I was slowly dying with missing you, how everything would fall into place....

If only it could have happened faster, if we could have flown through the agonizing weeks when no one knew where you were and everyone was trying to find you, and then the weeks after that were even worse, when everyone had stopped looking for you...we could have flown through it all and ended up here, back up on the roof of the clock tower, just the two of us together...

Elphie, I don't want this moment to end, when everything feels perfect at last.

We can make it last forever.

*****

**Fourth song:**** I'm not okay (I promise) by My Chemical Romance**

I go through my life wearing a mask.

No one, not even Glinda, really understands why, and its only to Glinda that I can show my real self, and only then very occasionally. I'm not used to being me in front of others.

Do they really think i'm actually like this, this distant, this sarcastic, just because of chance? Don't they realise that its only self protection?

It's what they made me, them and their stupid comments, and their backstabbing, their evil gossip. Don't they understand that if I didn't immediately distance myself, if I didn't stop listening, stop caring, I'd probably be suicidal by now?

How do I explain it? They think I don't want friends, they think I want to be by myself.

I tell myself I don't want friends either...because how do they expect me to cope otherwise?

I cant want it, any of it, because I know friends are something I'll never have, and if I admitted to anyone, even myself, that i'm lonely then I'd just have to accept how tragic everything really is, and i'm definitely not strong enough just yet.

So i'm ok, as long as I can keep believing i'm alone through choice, not because i'm universally hated.

"Elphaba-"

"Elphie-"

"Miss Thropp-"

"Elphaba-"

The same small smile. They don't see it's ironic.

"I'm okay. Trust me."

_But i'm not okay, i'm not okay, i'm not okay._

_*****_

**Fifth Song:**** Should I? by Lydia Maddix**

"Elphie...how would you describe love? In a way that rhymes, if you can think of anything?"

Glinda cranes her neck around to look at me from her perch on the bedroom window sill. She's trying to write a valentine for Fiyero and I've already refused to help twice.

"Oh Elphie pleeeease?"

We both knew I wouldn't last more than five minutes. But I still don't want to do anything for Fiyero. For two reasons: firstly, I hate him and he's creepy. Secondly...he's no where near good enough for Glinda except somehow he thinks he is, and so does she.

"Okay, fine" I put down my pen and spin my chair round. "_Roses are red, violets are blue...hmm...I think you're okay but my room-mate hates you_?"

"No way."

"Okay, fine." I turn back to my desk. "That was my contribution. I helped. Now please let me finish this essay before midnight."

"I can't believe you hate Fiyero....and I think he's better than _okay.._.i love him_"_

"Why?"

"Well...because...because...well, i'm going out with him, aren't I?"

"Good reason."

"Whatever."

"Elphie, please help me! What would you put if you had to write about love?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

I cap my pen and sigh. "Yep. Nothing."

At Glindas slightly horrified gasp, I can't help feeling impatient.

"Oh god, Glinda, don't be so dramatic. I just haven't come into contact with it much, okay? I mean, husbands and wives should love one another.... mother loved father by having an affair...and he loved her by killing her, because he could bear to have another daughter like me. Father hates me. I suppose I love Nessa, but she hates me because if I'd never existed mother would be alive and Nessa would be able to walk. Everyone here hates me, because i'm such a freak. And everyone I haven't met yet...well they'll find a reason to hate me sooner or later, if we ever meet. So...not, I just wouldn't put anything. I mean...why should I believe in love? Its not something that concerns me...."

I've never cried in front of another person in all my life, but now tears are prickling behind my eyelids. I've always known everything I've just said...but somehow it feels so much worse, to say it out loud...

"Elphie,omigod..."

Glinda has flung her stuff to the floor so she can hug me, which is nice I guess, even if i'm not used to people trying to make me feel better rather than worse...but which makes me feel kind of pathetic anyway.

"Elphie, i'm sure your father and Nessa love you too!"

I laugh bitterly, tears still sliding down my cheeks. "Yeah. Right."

"And...I love you too, you know. You're my best friend, Elphie! You're the only friend I've got who even matters."

"Really?"

Somehow...i suppose I knew we were friends but I never had any idea that our friendship was as important to Glinda as it was to me. I mean, she's loved as much as i'm hated, which is really saying something...

"I thought you knew? Of course you're my best friend. And of course I love you."

No one has ever loved me. I've never had any other friends.

"I know it's not...much, but isn't it enough to make you believe in love? Even...._agnostically_?"

I only get she's joking a few seconds later. Then I laugh too.

"Yeah. It's enough."

**SOOO what did you think????? I never meant the last one to be so long but it stretched itself...**

**FYI Lydias song is nowhere near that depressing. I mean, its not exactly a love song, even though its about love, but there's nothing in the lyrics about being HATED or not being loved AT ALL. That was just stuff I put in myself. The only way I really kept with the song is in the line "Why should I believe in love".**

**Who liked it? Who hated it?**

**Remember your reviews will be the only thing to keep me going if I end up with bad GCSE grades, so please REVIEW!!!!!**

**You'll get virtual cookies.... ;)**


End file.
